Much to his dad and mum's dismay
Horace ate himself one day
He didn't stop to say his grace
He just sat down and ate his face
"We can't have this!" his dad declared
"If that lad's ate he should be shared"
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh foolish child!" the father mourned
"You could have deep-fried those with prawns,
Some parsely and some tartar sauce..."
But H was on his second course;
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue
"To think I raised himn from the cot
And now he's gone to scoff the lot!"
His mother cried what shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept her son was seen
To eat his head his heart his spleen
And there he lay, a boy no more
Just a stomach on the floor...
None the less since it was his
They ate it - and that's what haggis is

Haggis "is typically served on Burns Night, January 25, when Scotland celebrates the birth of its greatest poet, Robert Burns, who was born in Ayrshire on that date in 1759. During the celebration, Burns poems are read, and the haggis is addressed by a member of the party, ceremonially, in the form of verses from Burns' poem, 'Address to a Haggis.' A typical meal for Burns Night would include Cock-a-Leekie, Haggis with Tatties-an'-Neeps, Roastit Beef, Tipsy Laird, and Dunlop Cheese."

Oh, and did I mention that whisky is also served?

Americanized Haggis (from Country Living, March 1991)

1 lb boneless lamb shoulder or breast, cut into pieces (or ground lamb)
1/2 lb lamb liver, cut into pieces
1/2 c water
1 small onion, coarsely chopped
1 large egg
3/4 ts salt
3/4 ts pepper, black
1/2 ts sugar
1/4 ts ginger, ground
1/8 ts cloves, ground
1/8 ts nutmeg, ground
1 c oats, rolled, old fashioned

Heat oven to 350-F. Grease an 8 1/2 by 4 1/2 inch loaf pan.

In food processor with chopping blade, process together half of the lamb, the liver, water, onion, egg, salt, pepper, sugar, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg until well combined. Add the remaining half of the lamb and the oats; process until well combined.

Spoon lamb mixture into the greased pan; pat surface to level. Bake 45 to 55 minutes or until center feels firm when gently pressed. Cool 5 minutes in pan; unmold onto platter; slice and serve.

Notes: This skinless haggis is planned for American tastes, yet contains many of the ingredients found in the real thing. You can unmold the loaf and serve it in place of the purchased haggis recipes.

Traditional Haggis (from Evelyn Hlabse, esh2@po.CWRU.Edu)

1 sheep's pluck (stomach bag)
2 lb.. dry oatmeal
1 lb. suet
1 lb. lamb's liver
2 1/2 cups stock
1 large chopped onion
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper, Jamaica pepper and salt

Boil liver and parboil the onion, then mince them together. Lightly brown the oatmeal. Mix all ingredients together. Fill the sheep's pluck with the mixture pressing it down to remove all the air, and sew up securely. Prick the haggis in several places so that it does not burst. Place haggis in boiling water and boil slowly for 4-5 hours. Serves approximately 12.

Genuine Haggis (from Michael Prothro, mprothro@nwark.com)

1 sheep's stomach bag plus the pluck (lights, liver and heart)
1 lb Lean mutton
6 oz Fine oatmeal
8 oz Shredded suet
2 large Onions, chopped

Salt and pepper about 1/4 pint beef stock. Soak the stomach bag in salted water overnight. Place the pluck (lights, liver and heart) in a saucepan with the windpipe hanging over the edge. Cover with water and boil for 1 1/2 hours. Impurities will pass out through the windpipe and it is advisable to place a basin under it to catch any drips. Drain well and cool. Remove the windpipe and any gristle or skin. Mince the liver and heart with the mutton. (Add some of the lights before mincing if you wish.) Toast the oatmeal gently until pale golden brown and crisp. Combine with minced mixture, suet and onion. Season well and add sufficient stock to moisten well. Pack into the stomach bag, filling it just over half-full as the stuffing will swell during cooking. Sew up the bag tightly or secure each end with string. Put an upturned plate in the base of a saucepan of boiling water, stand the haggis on this and bring back to the boil. Prick the haggis all over with a large needle to avoid bursting and boil steadily for 3 to 4 hours. Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Recipe from The Scots Book of Lore & Folklore

For this, the greatest of Scots savouries, is required: a sheep's bag, and the small bag, the pluck complete (lights, liver, and heart), beef suet, onions, and oatmeal, with seasoning of salt and black pepper. Thoroughly clean the bag, and soak in cold salted water for at least twelve hours. Turn the rough side out. Wash the pluck and the small bag, cover them with cold water, an set to boil with the windpipe hanging over the side of the pot to let out impurities. Boil for an hour and a half, or two hours. Then take out, and cut away all gristle and pipes. Half the liver only will be required, grate this, and mince the heart and lights. Make a mixture of this and half a pound of minced suet, a couple of finely chopped onions, and a large cupful of previously toasted oatmeal, all well moistened with some of the liquid in which the pluck was boiled. Put the mixture into the large bag, leaving plenty of room to swell. Sew the bag securely, and put it to boil in a large pot of hot water. Prick the bag all over with a darning needle as soon as it begins to swell, to prevent the possibility of its bursting. Boil steadily for three hours with the lid off the pot. Serve immediately.

A form of Haggis may be made without the sheep's bag, by putting the mixture into a buttered basin, and steaming it for about four hours.

Haggis

Ingredients 1 cleaned sheeps stomach 2lb dry oatmeal 1lb chopped mutton suet 1lb lambs or deers liver - boiled and minced 1pt (2cups) stock Heart & lungs of sheep - boiled and minced 1lb chopped onion 1/2 teaspoon each of cayenne pepper, jamaica pepper(allspice), pepper and salt Toast oatmeal until crisp then mix all ingredients (except sheeps stomach) together and add the stock. Fill bag to just over half full, press out air and sew up securely. Have ready large pot of boiling water, prick haggis all over with large needle so it does not burst. Boil slowly 4-5 hours.

Note also - I have been advised that when boiling the lungs, it is wise to let the trachea (windpipe)hang over the side of the pot. If you don't do this and the trachea folds over on itself in the pot the air trapped in the lungs will expand and cause the lungs to burst, spraying your kitchen with boiling water and bits of improperly cooked offal

Serves approx 12.

Note oatmeal is NOT the same as oatmeal in USA - I believe the US term is steel-cut oats.

Haggis is traditionally served on Robert Burns Anniversary (25th January) and St. Andrews day (30th November), carried aloft into the dining hall by a highlander in full highland dress, preceded by a piper playing a national air. The haggis is then addressed prior to being served, the poem used is Robert Burns "Address to a Haggis"